I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
