too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
