yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
