So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
