Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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