I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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