I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
