He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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