the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
