I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Never let your siblings swipe right.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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