He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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