What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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