She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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