No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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