She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
