Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
