And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
