It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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