Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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