he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
