I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
