I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
