is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
