Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
