you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
