Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
