none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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