btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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