Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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