and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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