We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
