I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize