If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
