you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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