I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
