It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize