Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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