They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
