i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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