She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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