I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize