you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A+ Viking dick
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