True but thats because hes a fetus.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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