Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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