"it" just moved
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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