what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
