He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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