He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
is it fun? or sober?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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