you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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