fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
