So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
