oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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