You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Is Oprah even human
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
