my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
