I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
