so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
