Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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