Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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