dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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