I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i will never coherently bang her
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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