i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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