In the future we'll all be gay
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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