the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
